"There Could Be Some Merit in Not Discussing That"
I have long been a believer that more communication is always better. Most of my relationship issues with roommates, parents, significant others, coworkers, friendships can all be boiled down to a lack of sufficient communication. But President Trump humorously reminded us at his border visit back in September, that sometimes, less is more.
The General's response to his discussion of sensitive information sounds like something I should have heard a few times in my life!
"There could be some merit in not discussing that".
I am the Queen of the over-share. And I often tell people things they may not want to hear in the name of honesty and being a "good" friend. Oops! Anyone else guilty of this? I also often self-incriminate in times of duress.
When I was almost 18, I crashed my car into a tree. It was totalled, I was hysterical. The officer asked me how fast I had been going (on the 30mph dirt road in Vermont). "I don't know, maybe 50?" I was the proud owner of a hefty speeding ticket as well as a hopelessly wrecked car.
When I was attending a casting director workshop in NYC, I had hit all of the subway delays and was running into the building not quite on time. A kind-looking woman held the elevator door for me and we rode up together. "Are you going to the casting director workshop?", I said. "Don't worry, they're always late!". We got off the elevator and walked to the room, and to my horror she walked to the front and sat down and began to teach the workshop. Ackh! She was the CD who's tardiness I had just laughingly dismissed along with my own. *face palm!*
In new friendships, I love to dish out the juiciest secrets from my past. I consider it a litmus test of sorts. If they can handle hearing this, then they can handle being on my team! (if you know, you know).
I've had some pretty tough friend drama this past year. And, classic Blaize, I always handled it by sharing every last little angle of my feelings, often written out in lengthy emails or texts that tended to exacerbate tensions. In my mind, I was getting things off my chest in an expressive, clearly communicated way. But in hindsight, biting my tongue could have done a lot for damage control.
Well, this Fall is all about newness for me, in many ways. I am letting go of a lot of things and attitudes that are holding me back. Why wait for New Years resolutions to make a change? I'm going to think a bit more before I speak. I think in some ways this weakness is my strength. I am frank, blunt and honest, and while this gets me into trouble, it is also something that some people appreciate. I'm not going to lose my willingness to speak truth fearlessly. But I'm just going to take a pause, instead of blurting out whatever pops into my head at any given time. I'm going to focus on LISTENING, and THEN responding APPROPRIATELY. They say a wise person learns from their mistakes. I've made the same one for years now in different scenarios! But it's never too late to recognize a flaw and decide to change it! What do you want to change? How can you be a better version of yourself? I dare ya to make a change today.